Jealousy is a powerful tool. Use it.

Truth and Cake

What is your relationship to jealousy?

Do you shut down, reject people, beat yourself up, project your inadequacies onto others, talk smack?

Or do you get curious, poke at it, play with, dive into, even love your jealousy?

For most of my life, I did the former.

I would shut down when someone succeeded at something. I’d take it personally. I’d beat myself up: “You already had that idea. Why didn’t you act on it?”

The sting of jealousy felt too sharp for me to want to lean in any closer. I wasn’t “good enough.” I’d let myself down.

A world where jealousy is bad supposes something false: that there’s only one go round at success, one shot at an idea, only room for one bright, shiny person.

Which, of course, is a lie. (You know that, right?)

When you start poking at jealousy, some very useful information emerges.


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Monday blues

I woke up to Bruno’s lazy song. I literally didn’t feel like doing anything. After a weekend of niceness and fun waking up at 5 am felt unbearable but I eventually woke up and went to work. Trying to write out my laziness off and get working.

So my weekend was full of love all around me. Some of my friends were happy with their better half’s while others were happy being single. What got me thinking is the new wave of not wanting to get married and have kids. They prefer living alone and having girlfriends but not committed to marriage or family future plans. This kind of resolution is pretty deep, I would say its loosing faith and hope for a good relationship having been through betrayal after betrayal.

Love is most beautiful thing in the world. If you find true love you better appreciate it as it is hard to find.

What the world needs now: fierce, messy love.

Truth and Cake

fierce messy love

The world is aching and angry and confused right now.

And it’s calling out for more love.

All over my newsfeed are beautiful posts about love and peace. I agree. We need more love. We need more grace. We need to embody the change we want to see in the world.

Here’s the disconnect I’m seeing between the anger out there and the call for peace: we’re making up that love is a passive answer to this kind of tragedy.

It’s not.

Love doesn’t need to be contained in a gentle, quiet box.

Love is not spineless. It’s not all peace and om’s and rising above.

Love has some fire in it.

Love is a messy, beating heart.

Fierce love says, “I love you fellow human being, and I’m willing to go to the mat for the potential I see in you.”

When we are isolated and sick and lonely…

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2 loves

So a friend of mine is torn in between two guys whom she thinks she loves. Am saying think because of her reasons for being in love.

With one guy she feels the sense of security. He is able to provide and give her what she needs and with the other guy she feels excitement and the desire to see him all the time.

I said she’s probably in love with the second guy but staying with the first for her future. Eventually she will have to choose since she can’t have it all. What would you advise her to do?

Starting up

My friends always thought I was good at giving people advice pertaining relationships. At first I thought it was just luck for being right but then again you cant be right all the time. I always try to do my best in any given situation. I put my self in the persons shoes and walk in them. But at the end of the day I always say getting advise from third parties is good thing but make sure you sit down and analyse your options before making a decision since you are the best person to judge and decide whats good for you and whats bad for you.